where does the time go?

 Well my last post was February??? and now it's April...this year is flying by already.
Well baby lea is now 19 weeks, weaning and teething are both well on the way. She's already trying to pull herself up too...I can see she going to be a monkey once she starts moving lol.
The other new update to add is that as if being mummy isn't enough...glutton for punishment that I am, I am attempting to make jewellery to sell.
I owe this new phase to too much watching Jewellery maker tv and being in awe of the pieces made. However, it has been a godsend in some ways as it gave me something to keep me busy when hubby was working nights.Me being me though I was so enthusiastic and still am...but then the nerves kick in about what if no one likes the pieces. However, despite these nerves I set up a facebook page and posted photos of my first pieces.https://www.facebook.com/Lilibellegifts
Though I have not sold any pieces yet ( fingers crossed) this weeks agenda is to get my page & pieces out there.
So this week I am going to be covered in rusks & baby food, while attempting to internet network busy busy bee.
By way hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine while it lasts.

February already?!

I was sure I'd updated my blog before now..until I came on here to check..oh dear. Apologies to anyone actually reading my posts.
So February it is already and Lily-Anne is 9 1/2 weeks old already..where did that go??
So just a quick catch up as I've obviously not updated since before xmas.
Madam was home for xmas which was a godsend and it felt so good to be sleep ridden and shattered within the confinements of my own home. The breastfeeding was going really well until she decided that at early o'clock she was much too tired and hungry to have to work for her food and so was not getting much milk and feeding more often. This led to me stressing out, being incredibly tired and my eczema starting to surface. This I feared would be the end of my breastfeeding phase..but determined to ride it out for as long as possible. Formula was brought for night feeds and give me some release from stressing..this actually helped calm down the eczema meaning I am still at 9 1/2 weeks breastfeeding...Go me :)
Baby brain exists I'm proof.. the amount of times I have gone to the car to find I've forgotten to lock it is unreal (good job only on drive). I've driven down the road only to question if I did actually lock the front door..and had to think long and hard before remebering yes I did.
Fitting back into normal clothes has been a nightmare too..mainly because I as a woman delude myself into thinking I can fit into those size16 jeans again..even though I've just had a baby.
This then results in me feeling so disheartened that in fact as much as I could hold my breathe and tummy in..it's just not possible to do it for a whole day and so I need to resign myself that a size 20/18 will have to do for now..as I need comfort. As disheartened as I got about this I have taken in that I am doing incredibly well to be almost back to my old self so quickly given xmas was spent scoffing choccies and sweets.

As for februray I'm sat here now and the snow is coming down..the 3rd lot at least this month, I am wondering as the school run gets nearer if Lily-anne's travel system wouldn't do better with a snow plough attachment. The last lot saw me slipping and sliding as though I may as well had ice skates on my feet instead of shoes. Regardless, I am sure that if the snow does stick there will be no doubt be a wave of photos of snow written valentine messages posted on facebook..moneysaving I guess not for me as I already ordered my cards for hubby...oh well. Happy valentines for tomorrow people. ♥

Didn't even make it to 35 weeks !!

So saturday 8th was like any normal saturday. I went picked my boys up, we came home, them doing their thing for a while..me attempting my first mince pies *gulp*
Hubby came home loaded with presents and cards for kids to write and give to me as it my birthday monday and he wanted the kids to give me their card and present while here with us.
I rested for a while watching TV then decided before heading off to birmingham german market I'd sort the dishwasher out. Nothing unsusal to be doing that..but as I did I felt like I'd wet myself...not loads just when you bursting but trying to finish something before really having to go. I thought nothing of it and carried on emptying dishwasher.
Once finished I went toilet only to discover I hadn't wet myself...I was bleeding..and heavy :( I shouted hubby and rang hospital. I was told I needed to ring for ambulance to which we did. I then sorted who and where the kids were going ( as they obviously couldn't come with us).
I arrived at the hospital and things seemed to calm down as they scanned me and I got to see my baby girl all well on the screen.
Was told they'd keep me in for couple of days to keep an eye on bleeding. Was given painkillers and told to try rest.
6am sunday I was getting twinges that hurt more than they previously had...and when checked I was in labour! I started to be prepped for c-section even though a decision had not been made..it was just a matter of time..baby had no other way of coming out..even if no one had told her that lol.
After being so scared of having the c-section I was pleasantly suprised. I lay there with my husband by my side waiting for madam to cry which she did. I didn't feel any tugging or soreness at all. I felt huge sigh of relief that baby girl was ok regardless of being born a day and five weeks early!!
Not only was she early but she arrived to help celebrate mummy's birthday and obviously didn't want to miss xmas.
I have recovered well and baby...sorry ..Lily-anne is doing well and hoepfully home soon.

scan time again..34 weeks

Well another scan..another consultant appointment and as am convinced baby dropped I was quite happy.
How wrong was I?? yes the placenta had moved...but only part of it :( It had now divided itself into 2 sections joined across my cervix..wtf?? Consultant wants me to go back in 2 weeks to see if it's possibly moved...if not then c-section at 38 weeks it is.
I was upset a lot..more so beccause I'd convinced myself it would be ok now. But now I'm panicking too...what if she comes early and I'm on my own? it will take hubby at leats an hour to get to me :(  What happens if it goes over xmas and I have the kids?? as I was told any bleeding, pain or waters I'm to go straight in not even leave it half hour!
On the plus side we know she going to be early..even if it is waiting til 38 weeks!! However, I'm so not convinced she will wait that long lol.

33 weeks ..come on

I love being pregnant, knowing your growing your baby and protecting them until they are ready to be born.
However, at 33 weeks I find myself getting uncomfortable as baby gets bigger. Not only is she now bigger but she's dropped..or at least I think she has. There are reasons I think this and they are:

1. Before last week my bump was so high it was able to support my bra and my growing boobs could have a rest place. Now I am able to rest my hands between my bump and boobs suggesting bump has lowered.
2. I find myself going to the toilet, getting down the stairs to sit down for all of 5 minutes before setting off again, for the tiny trickle that I obviously missed the first time. On the plus side the trips up and downstairs should help increase my fitness levels.
3. When I am sitting it can take me all of 10 minutes to try and even find a comfy position that's if I'm not disturbed by the above first. 

As uncomfrotable as the above makes me and can make you tired, I am quite happy about the fact that she's dropped. The reason behind this happiness despite the above list is that if she has dropped then there is a good chance that placenta has moved (?). I have to say that I'm quite positive about this and though I won't find out until next week if my theory is right I'm a lot more positive than I was 6 weeks ago.
I also have a feeling she may not wait until her due date to make an appearance, she seems to want to move far too much and seems not to like being restricted. This also comes with the 'dropping' thing though I have been wrong before. My daughter 'dropped' at about 31 weeks so much that midwife had a job to get measurements half the time. As she dropped so much so soon I was convinced that she would come early....she was happy to wait until her due date and arrived quite happily on time.
This little madam though I think is likely to take after her daddy and will be impatient and want to come as soon as she can...which is fine by me as long as she's safe and healthy...oh and doesn't come christmas day lol
With all this stuff going on I'm nervous today as I go for a class about breastfeeding. Yes, this is my fourth child but I've never had the option of breastfeeding due to health with the others. So this time I am determined to be pre-armed with all information so should my health stay as it is (fingers crossed) then I will be able to attempt to breastfeed. I'm not expecting it to be easy by any means but being prepared will help. I just hope I don't ask any stupid question..or get looked badly upon as I bottle fed all my others. I was going to take a notebook so I could take notes and thought I may look a right idiot..so decided maybe wrongly to rely on my memory to remember the information....actually I may take a pen incase the give us some paper..God help me lol

I apologise for not updating

Ok so on the off chance that anyone does actually read this blog..I apologise for not updating sooner.
The scan did show that the placenta is still low which meant I was disappointed that it hadn't moved. On the plus side our baby girl was jumping around and watching us as the scan was being done.
However, panic set in again as the following monday I had a slight discharge that wasn't much but decided to keep an eye on it rather than panic. On the tuesday I had the same, so with that I rang the midwife that then told me to ring the hospital. I was told to go in to be checked over I knew that meant at least a couple of hours in there. Luckily I was able to get my step-dad to have the kids (as I'd got them first half of half term) and rang hubby who without a second thought was on his way to come with me.
I did get checked over and there appeared to be nothing wrong. So the only conclusion we can come to is that baby was moving with some force sunday and monday night and maybe she knocked the placenta.

I have also had my boys birthdays in the space it's taken me to update. This now means that my youngest son turned 10 and my eldest is now 13!! I feel so old that I am a mum of a teenager. I must admit at times I think I must be mad..mad I tell you to have even thought of starting again. But then I remind myself just how much this baby was wanted..to the point I was getting beside myself when it didn't happen for the 4 months we were trying before it happend.

Let this week drag..please

So now I'm 28 wks along and on Thursday I have a scan. Normally this is great, afterall it means I get to see my little girl again and can't wait to see her.
However, it also means that my nerves and stress out time has started. The reason for this scan is that they thought my placenta was lying a little too low and so want to check it's moved. I'm praying to god it has..else this means possible c-section my worst nightmare. Not only am I panicking about this but the fact that to myself I don't feel like I've got much bigger. Most people would think this a great thing but to me it worries me.
See 10 years ago,I felt so good about not being big with DS2 that I didn't realise I wasn't actually getting bigger and it turned out he'd stopped growing and was born by c-sect at 36 wks weighing a mere 3lb 14oz....so tiny it's hard to comprehend.
I had all these worries with my DD too but as she was growing and could see it I panicked less.
I'm hoping I'm getting myself in a tizz for nothing and everything is ok but you just can't help but worry. As Thursday draws closer I'm sure I'll be much worse but am going to try my best not to show it as I don't want to worry husband.
Lets hope the weekend is not too bad.